03 July 2017

Strengthened by Tangible Grace: A Love Story, Nine Years in the Making

That divine grace comes from God is axiomatic.  However, divine grace in motion, being poured out and expressed through secondary sources, is not so readily discerned. 

The biblical evidence points directly to God as the fountain from which all good things flow.  From the fullness of his being, he imparts gifts to the human heart.

He is love (1 John 4:8)... and he gives love (1 John 3:1; Romans 5:8).

He is strength (Proverbs 18:10)... and he provides strength (Isaiah 40:29-31; 41:10).

He is the God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3)... and he comforts us in all our affliction (2 Corinthians 1:4).

In one sense, then, it is accurate to say that the love of God moves from inception to realization as it is directly expressed from God to mankind.  It proceeds from point A, the originating source, to point B, the designated recipient, and this, with unquestioned certainty.  God puts his love in our hearts (Romans 5:5).

But, in another sense, the meandering streams of providential waters flow through a variety of channels - conduits of divine blessing - in reaching their intended destination.  Thus, the love of God floods the human soul by first overflowing the soul of another (1 John 4:11).  This speaks of the preeminent need of man to embrace God and experience him within community.  To be sure, we are saved as individuals.  But we are also saved by inclusion within a larger group, which the Bible defines as a Body - a Unity of different members - a City - the assembly of the Firstborn - a Society - in the Communion of Saints - and a Church - the collective Bride of Christ.

It is unsurprising, then, that we should experience so much of God in this last expression of His salvation.  For in the marital relationship, we catch a preliminary glimpse of that eternal vision of God's care for his people in Christ.  God's love is poured into our hearts through Christ and by the Holy Spirit, to overflow in the congregation of the faithful.  But the uniqueness of the marriage partnership is the intimacy by which this love, strength, and comfort are so powerfully apprehended.  It seems like the stronger the relational bond, the stronger the expression of God's grace.  And I have been remarkably blessed to experience - with increasing intensity - the love, strength, and comfort of God through my spouse these last nine years.

Love is made perfect in weakness.  Perhaps this means that love so perfectly complements its object that it begins to conquer deficiencies in it.  Love overcomes that which is unlovely.  Perhaps this also means that love so perfectly completes its object that it fills void spaces within it.  Love fills up what is lacking.  The love of a spouse may not only overcome the selfishness of the other, but may also fill up that which had been insecurity in the other.

Strength is only evident in contrast.  When my children were learning to walk, they would reach for me with outstretched arms.  I would hold their two hands and walk above them as they took clumsy steps forward.  My strength in holding them up was visible only in light of their inability to walk.  Strength could be applied in physical terms and/or emotional terms.  A spouse may actually sustain the other by holding him up; the shoulder to lean on.  She may also sustain him by her emotional presence; the shoulder to cry on. 

Comfort is the application of strength in love, and the application of love in strength.  The legal systems of the world enforce laws by applying strength to punish those who break them.  This is the application of strength without love.  The welfare systems of the world give resources freely without teaching skills that could break cycles of poverty.  This is the application of a form of love devoid of the strength of empowerment.  To provide comfort is to be selflessly strong for the one who is the object of your love.

Do you remember that Sunday night in Kenya when I was so locked up by anxiety that I could not move?  I had been lying on the mattress - remember, we had to put them on our living room floor because of the kids?  There was no way that newborn Ethan could sleep in the same room with Karina because of how frequently and loudly he would wake up in the night!  I had been trying to calm down.  The challenges of life, ministry, family, and seminary had rained down torrentially.  It was not going well that night... I would need to go to the emergency room.  I would need a strong shoulder of support just to get into the car.  I would need that same shoulder for many more months as the tears of depression and the fears of anxiety came to be assuaged.  The love that spoke nary a single word of condemnation consistently assured that, though the journey would be as bumpy as the road to the hospital, the end would be nothing short of God's grace in redemption.  You neither blamed me for what was happening, nor accepted as final the condition in which I found myself.  God had put His love for me in you.  And I could feel it.  He had strengthened you in my behalf.  And I was uplifted by it.  He had comforted me through you.  And I was consoled by it.  Love.  Strength.  Comfort.

I have been sustained by divine grace my whole life; these last nine years, I have also been strengthened by a tangible grace conceived in eternity and borne by my beautiful wife.  There was no gift of flowers or perfume that could adequately communicate my gratitude and love.

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